caterpillar girl.

So... it's just me. Who that really is, well, I don't know. This here blog is just me trying to identify that girl in the mirror.

maggie // seventeen // aquarius // infj

The Cure - Paramore - The Used - Sick of Sarah - Blink-182 - ADTR - 3OH!3 - All Time Low - Hellogoodbye - Coheed & Cambria - Panic! At The Disco - The Maine - Legend of Zelda - League of Legends - Photography - Music - Writing - Art - Fashion - Coffee - Steampunk - Zombies - Astrology - TMNT - Magic - Buffy the Vampire Slayer - LUSH - Disney - Alice in Wonderland - Longboarding - Love

Parental Advisory: I say "Fuck" a lot.

Shhh… It’s just me.

So who am I? I’ve been trying to figure this one out for a while now. Here’s the basics, though. I am:

  • Maggie
  • Aquarius
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • HS Junior
  • Sixteen
  • A little crazy
And here’s some more: 
  • I’m part of a whole lot of groups, like Girl Scouts, GSA, NJHS, Art Society, etc etc.
  • I love art and I’ve always been a writer. I occasionally doodle and I dabble in photography, it’s something I hope to grow on and I want to make it into a living. My favorite artist is Salvador Dali. You can see my writing and photography in my /tagged/mine page.
  • I’ve struggled with self harm since eighth grade, I’m doing my best though.
  • I’m blonde but I’m also turquoise/purple/pink/blue/red/lavender/coral depending on my mood and what sort of dye I’ve got.
  • I played baseball for four years, softball for three, and I would love to play softball again. But as far as sports go nowadays, I really just bike and longboard, but not competitively. I’d love to learn how to play tennis.
  • I love the outdoors. I’d live in the woods if I could. I love camping, swimming, and drinking in the sunshine. Snow is beautiful. Rain is beautiful. Mud is beautiful.
  • I write for the Connecticut Post in the CTTeens section every month, it’s a lot of fun.
  • I don’t identify as polyamorous, but I’m somewhere along those lines. I think that every love is a very different thing and I have a lot of love for a whole lot of people.
Music is kind of my whole world. I prefer alternative and poppunk music, but I will tolerate anything. I don’t like to rule out or favor any specific genre- it’s like racism for music. In the words of Hayley Williams- “The more music you know, the happier you will be.” My favorite music, though, includes:
  • The Cure
  • Paramore
  • A Day to Remember
  • Sick of Sarah
  • 3Oh!3
  • You Me at Six
  • Sleeping with Sirens
  • Hellogoodbye
  • Lights
  • Mayday Parade
  • The Smiths
  • The Beatles
  • Fall Out Boy
  • All Time Low
  • The Summer Set
  • Counting Crows
  • The Used
  • Flyleaf
  • Blink-182
  • Glitch Mob
  • Death Cab for Cutie
  • Everclear
  • I have a lot of favorites okay?
I love going to concerts; so far I have seen:
  • KT Tunstall
  • Augustana
  • Michael Franti & Spearhead
  • Counting Crows
  • New Found Glory
  • Kadawatha
  • Paramore
  • Bamboozle 2011 - PWTs, AAS, Alkaline Trio, Streetlight Manifesto, Bo Burnham, Forever the Sickest Kids, Taking Back Sunday, and others
  • Hot Chelle Rae (x3)
  • The Summer Set (x2)
  • The Ready Set (x2)
  • We the Kings
  • Kicking Daisies
  • Bamboozle 2012 - The Maine, Nevershoutnever, All-American Rejects, Datsik, Close Your Eyes, The Promise Ring, Motion City Soundtrack
  • Warped Tour 2012 - Four Year Strong, You Me at Six, New Found Glory, Sick of Sarah, Sleeping with Sirens, blessthefall, Taking Back Sunday, All Time Low, For Today
  • Two O’Clock Courage
  • Acadia Falls
  • Moving Brooklyn
  • Arrows Over Athens
  • Vice on Victory
  • Years in the Making
  • On the Drive Home
  • The World is a Beautiful Place and I am No Longer Afraid to Die
  • Joyce Manor
  • Cobra Starship
  • Neon Trees
  • You should help me make this list longer~
I like making lists but I don’t know what else to put so I’ll just kind of segue this into what was on my original bio post. Yay!

 A look on the inside shows that I’m a little more than that. I’m always confused, lost, and more than a tiny bit insecure. I can never measure up to my brother, in my parents eyes. My friends (a lot of them, at least) get fed up with me and leave. I tend to mess up in my relationships. A lot. I get hurt but I try not to show it. I have a huge bitchy side which I try to keep hidden around the people who want me to be perfect. I’m not perfect. I try to be, but I’m not. Deal with it.

I’ve wondered for a long time who I want to be. I want to be backstage at your show, “Press” tag around my neck and camera in hand. Drinking in the beats and getting high off adrenaline. I want to be that girl. The one who doesn’t have to say a word, but intrigues you all the same. I want to be confident. I want to be strong.

But who am I now? I’m not strong, nor confident. I spend my life blasting music in my bedroom and reading whatever I can get my hands on. I have a Disney obsession and would give anything I have to meet Robert Smith. TMNT, House, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are favorite time-stealers of mine. If I could live in the woods, away from society, I probably would. I always have a camera on me, and my hair is seldom a ”natural” color. I cry myself to sleep. I laugh myself to sleep. I laugh myself into tears, more often than not.

I’ve had my bad moments, and my great ones. I live for music. I live for love. &As the Used put it, “Love is not like anything, especially a fucking knife.” I try to resist. But hey… It’s just me. And I’m finally becoming okay with that.

revised: August 22, 2012

www.youarethe-air-ibreathe.tumblr.com/tagged/me

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